Free Porn (... and Some Trivia of the Party)
Around 1 a.m tonight
I was lying on the carpeted floor. There was not enough space for me on the double-sized bed because my younger sister and brother were already there, kicking and punching in their sleep. I thought I'd dozed off for about an hour but the sore muscle I got from playing too much keyboard in Iin's wedding party and the air conditioner that blew too cold air had awakened me. I squinted to save my corneas from the table lamp's light and tried to enjoy the night view of Jakarta from this room. Okay, not much has happened since I went to sleep. The National Monument is still standing there, brightly illuminated with spotlights from its four corner, arrogantly bearing its gold fireflame.
Done with the view from the 18th floor, I turned on the TV, looking for any good programme. Asian news, nope. MTV, nope. Indian film, nope. People humping, nope. Sport news, nope. Wait, ... wait, back to the previous channel. Not that channel, the previous one. Isn't it a guy humping on a girl ... on a bed ... naked? WHOA. It's a porn channel. Hmm, this is going to be fun I said to myself.
The film kinda sucked because the image was blurry (the thing you can expect from a hijacked VCD sold in Glodok) and the plot was awful (the thing you can expect from any low-budgeted mediocre porn). Yet the humping was good. A little bored, I watched the film with my eyes half closed. Turned out that I got only the last ten minutes of the film. After the credits was over, I could see the channel showed only a blank blue screen and, later, an initial screen of a VCD player with "close", "open", and "loading ..." status.
I waited for another movie to show. Yes, I waited for about ten minutes, deep down in my heart begging for a better movie, in vain. Desperate, I turned off the TV and went back to sleep. I guessed I've slept for another half an hour before I woke up and, still hoping for another movie, turned the TV back on and looked for that very channel. AH, THERE IT IS. The movie was showing, As pornographic as the previous one, the film offered nothing new to me. Same old tricks. After ten minutes, I could no longer hold my sleepy eyes open. After all, I was kind of worried and guilty. What if the hotel charge me for 'adult show performance' when I check out? I chickened out, turned off the TV, and went back, again, to sleep.
Later at 8:30 in the morning ...
As I checked out and took my ID card in exchange for the key and the receipt, I was kind of expecting for the worse. "Thank you Sir, here's your ID card" was the only thing the lady recptionist see. I guessed they provide that mysterious adult channel only for free as an extra service for higher rate room. Think again, maybe I was just lucky. But did the hotel keep the record that in May 24th, around 1 a.m., room 1819 watched two adult show on the 'special' channel?
[I recalled my father saying, "Don't you see that I'm an executive?" when he was offered a standart deluxe room. I thought he was being a snob. Later I found out he was not as he added, "I'm a civil employee that's why I'm an executive. If I work for the parliament, I'd be a legislative or if I work for the Supreme Court, I'd be a judicative." ]
Trivia
About the Numbers 4 and 13 When I say I stay on room 1819 on topmost floor, actually I'm saying that this hotel only has sixteen floors. Probably I should be thankful to understand that ancient people could only count up to twenty and decided that only two numbers, four and thirteen, are unlucky. This hotel's owner seems to be aware of these two numbers and their effects to the occupancy rate. Knowing (or assuming?) that nobody would stay on neither floor 4 nor 13, he decided to rearranged the floors by skipping those two numbers.
Why not put standard, transit or any of the lowest rate rooms on those two floors and name the floors as they should be? The rooms ought to be attractive for people who tend to be economical rather than superstitious. Or, why bother? I think number 4 is considered unlucky only in some cultures and so is number 13. Because the guests come from many different world cultures that might not share the same superstition, just leave floor 4 and 13 the way they are and let the guests choose their own floor based on their own belief system.
I hope 18 is not on any culture's list of unlucky numbers. I know it's not on mine.
Not very solemn ceremony I couldn't help but constantly sharing jokes with my brother and sister while the matrimonial ceremony took place. About the snobbish women with big hairdos that looked like oversize croissants and buns which blocked my view, the phones that went off with glaring unpopular ringtones while the holy verses were being recited, the groom's folks that outnumbered the bride's, the wiseguy who acted as the master of ceremony announcing wrong names and places, and the groom who answered the ijab qabul way too fast.
Perhaps the videotape would immortalized those laughters and be the inarguable proof of the crime we did in the ceremony.
Out of the Requested Song List The groom's younger sister actually had warned us not to play any song that would turn the grand ballroom into a dangdut concert. She said, "No Poco-Poco, no Cucakrowo, romantic love songs only". I couldn't say no to it, simply because I do respect my client. But to stick to the request list means to turn down the guests's request and let more people get disappointed. I just love to meet the guests' request for traditional Minang tunes especially when Elly Kasim and other senior famous Minang singers took turns to perform "Ayam Den Lapeh", "Rinai Hujan", "Langsek Manih", "Bareh Solok", "Anak Salido", and "Tanjung Katung".
Tizzy, I'm sorry but this is what the audience actually wants.
I'm telling you, dear readers, that's what would happen when you invite too many singers, both amateur and professional, to the wedding.
Being a non-histerycal fan After the party was over, I spotted a familiar face among the crowd. AUDY! Too bad I was to shy to say hello to her and ask her to have her picture taken. Or perhaps I was just being too shy that I was almost ignorant of her presence. The only thing I'd have to admit is that she was FAR PRETTIER in person. I spent ten minutes taking glimpses of her with the corner of my eye. Then she slowly left the room, along with my only chance to introduce myself to her.
Pity.
I was lying on the carpeted floor. There was not enough space for me on the double-sized bed because my younger sister and brother were already there, kicking and punching in their sleep. I thought I'd dozed off for about an hour but the sore muscle I got from playing too much keyboard in Iin's wedding party and the air conditioner that blew too cold air had awakened me. I squinted to save my corneas from the table lamp's light and tried to enjoy the night view of Jakarta from this room. Okay, not much has happened since I went to sleep. The National Monument is still standing there, brightly illuminated with spotlights from its four corner, arrogantly bearing its gold fireflame.
Done with the view from the 18th floor, I turned on the TV, looking for any good programme. Asian news, nope. MTV, nope. Indian film, nope. People humping, nope. Sport news, nope. Wait, ... wait, back to the previous channel. Not that channel, the previous one. Isn't it a guy humping on a girl ... on a bed ... naked? WHOA. It's a porn channel. Hmm, this is going to be fun I said to myself.
The film kinda sucked because the image was blurry (the thing you can expect from a hijacked VCD sold in Glodok) and the plot was awful (the thing you can expect from any low-budgeted mediocre porn). Yet the humping was good. A little bored, I watched the film with my eyes half closed. Turned out that I got only the last ten minutes of the film. After the credits was over, I could see the channel showed only a blank blue screen and, later, an initial screen of a VCD player with "close", "open", and "loading ..." status.
I waited for another movie to show. Yes, I waited for about ten minutes, deep down in my heart begging for a better movie, in vain. Desperate, I turned off the TV and went back to sleep. I guessed I've slept for another half an hour before I woke up and, still hoping for another movie, turned the TV back on and looked for that very channel. AH, THERE IT IS. The movie was showing, As pornographic as the previous one, the film offered nothing new to me. Same old tricks. After ten minutes, I could no longer hold my sleepy eyes open. After all, I was kind of worried and guilty. What if the hotel charge me for 'adult show performance' when I check out? I chickened out, turned off the TV, and went back, again, to sleep.
Later at 8:30 in the morning ...
As I checked out and took my ID card in exchange for the key and the receipt, I was kind of expecting for the worse. "Thank you Sir, here's your ID card" was the only thing the lady recptionist see. I guessed they provide that mysterious adult channel only for free as an extra service for higher rate room. Think again, maybe I was just lucky. But did the hotel keep the record that in May 24th, around 1 a.m., room 1819 watched two adult show on the 'special' channel?
[I recalled my father saying, "Don't you see that I'm an executive?" when he was offered a standart deluxe room. I thought he was being a snob. Later I found out he was not as he added, "I'm a civil employee that's why I'm an executive. If I work for the parliament, I'd be a legislative or if I work for the Supreme Court, I'd be a judicative." ]
Trivia
About the Numbers 4 and 13 When I say I stay on room 1819 on topmost floor, actually I'm saying that this hotel only has sixteen floors. Probably I should be thankful to understand that ancient people could only count up to twenty and decided that only two numbers, four and thirteen, are unlucky. This hotel's owner seems to be aware of these two numbers and their effects to the occupancy rate. Knowing (or assuming?) that nobody would stay on neither floor 4 nor 13, he decided to rearranged the floors by skipping those two numbers.
Why not put standard, transit or any of the lowest rate rooms on those two floors and name the floors as they should be? The rooms ought to be attractive for people who tend to be economical rather than superstitious. Or, why bother? I think number 4 is considered unlucky only in some cultures and so is number 13. Because the guests come from many different world cultures that might not share the same superstition, just leave floor 4 and 13 the way they are and let the guests choose their own floor based on their own belief system.
I hope 18 is not on any culture's list of unlucky numbers. I know it's not on mine.
Not very solemn ceremony I couldn't help but constantly sharing jokes with my brother and sister while the matrimonial ceremony took place. About the snobbish women with big hairdos that looked like oversize croissants and buns which blocked my view, the phones that went off with glaring unpopular ringtones while the holy verses were being recited, the groom's folks that outnumbered the bride's, the wiseguy who acted as the master of ceremony announcing wrong names and places, and the groom who answered the ijab qabul way too fast.
Perhaps the videotape would immortalized those laughters and be the inarguable proof of the crime we did in the ceremony.
Out of the Requested Song List The groom's younger sister actually had warned us not to play any song that would turn the grand ballroom into a dangdut concert. She said, "No Poco-Poco, no Cucakrowo, romantic love songs only". I couldn't say no to it, simply because I do respect my client. But to stick to the request list means to turn down the guests's request and let more people get disappointed. I just love to meet the guests' request for traditional Minang tunes especially when Elly Kasim and other senior famous Minang singers took turns to perform "Ayam Den Lapeh", "Rinai Hujan", "Langsek Manih", "Bareh Solok", "Anak Salido", and "Tanjung Katung".
Tizzy, I'm sorry but this is what the audience actually wants.
I'm telling you, dear readers, that's what would happen when you invite too many singers, both amateur and professional, to the wedding.
Being a non-histerycal fan After the party was over, I spotted a familiar face among the crowd. AUDY! Too bad I was to shy to say hello to her and ask her to have her picture taken. Or perhaps I was just being too shy that I was almost ignorant of her presence. The only thing I'd have to admit is that she was FAR PRETTIER in person. I spent ten minutes taking glimpses of her with the corner of my eye. Then she slowly left the room, along with my only chance to introduce myself to her.
Pity.
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