Never judge a durian from its smell

Last week, on the calm holiday night, I went out in search for durians with my cousin. We came to a stall, lit by two petromaks, displaying two huge piles of durians. They're not monthongs, I assume, as expensive durians are usually sold in supermarkets. After a hard bargain, the vendor finally gave us his final price: two durians for 15000 rupiahs. It seemed like a good deal, but we believe, "never make a decision based on durian seller's statement". We persuaded the vendor to pick out the durians for us to taste, as we'd like to eat them in situ.

This old man carefully made a v-shaped slice on a durian's skin with his sharp knife and scooped a little bit of the flesh. He then offered my cousin to taste it. To his disappointment, it tasted awful. That durian was not ripe at all, thus the flesh was tough, although it smelled quite nice. Another durian was picked and, still, tasted horrible. I waited eagerly for a good result of this durian test but apparently the last durian in the first pile tasted the same.

We moved onto the second pile. One durian was picked out, and same rituals were performed. At that time, I got the chance to be the judge. In my desperation, I had to admit that it was OK, although not good. The vendor thoroughly open that fruit and offered it to us. Yep, it was only OK. A C-graded durian. Another one picked out, and we gave our agreement. Sitting in a rather uncomfortable position on a plastic mat, I tried hard to enjoy this so-so choice. I could finish it until the last bite, although I couldn't help but gave the harshest critics about its taste while licking each finger.

As I enjoyed every little drop of durian juice in my finger tips, I saw two consumers coming. They're a couple, the man seemed to be the decision maker, a durian know-it-all. He squatted and started to pick durians to his nose judgement ... from the horrible first pile. Oh no, an innocent victim. I was in a state of confusion, torn between the eagerness to save this ignorant buyer from picking the wrong durians and the respect to the vendor who had given us a discount. So there I was, trying hard to transmit warnings through electromagnetic waves to him ... unsuccessfully. Off they left with two horribly tasted durian which cost them Rp 25000.

On the way home with our hands smothered by durian, we dropped by a used-fashion store, leaving a trail on each jacket and shirt that we browsed.

Rule#1:
You cannot tell a good durian simply by sticking your nose at the tip of its thorns to smell it. Knowing that a lot of durian lovers still hold this misleading myth, some mischiveous vendors purposely sprinkle durian juice on raw durians to give them a deceiving smell. Their form might be deceitful as well. Some durians might look terribly deformed but they might actually taste good.

Rule#2:
Ripe durians have brownish yellow color skin yet not all of brownish yellow colored durians have ripened naturally at harvest time. Some vendors might have harvested them before they're completely ripe to avoid their going bad a long the way from durian estates to cities.

Rule#3:
To avoid disappointment, you'd better bring some air-tight containers to durian stalls and ask the vendors to choose good durians and open them for you. You can save the flesh in the containers and seal them to maintain the freshness and the fragrance inside. This also might save you from the hassle concerning those thorny skins. Using this method, my aunt could even send durian all the way from Medan par avion without having to worry that the fragrance would annoy any non-durian fans' nose.

Rule#4:
If you do have a lot of money to spend, spare your time from reading those previous rules and just go get some monthongs at their best condition in supermarkets nearby. Enjoy your happy hour and remember to refrain yourself from greediness as durian helps to give you high blood pressure.

Must try:
Juice durian
Es Durian Bandung (Durian+Vanilla Ice Cream+tapai ketan)
Durian with nasi ketan (steamed glutinous rice) or lemang (steamed glutinous rice, roasted in a bamboo tube)

Be careful enough:
not to eat durian and lamb meat within a short period of time. Unless you have a really, really, tough artery walls, your brain blood vessel might pop out due to a sudden blood pressure rise caused by those two food.
not to overeat durian and clams within a short period of time. My sister did it and threw up afterward, and, from that moment on, has developed a trauma.